The book that Joel's swimming instructor suggested I read is called for the Love of Ann - The True Story of an Autistic Child' about a girl called Ann who was born in the 50's and brought up in a time when autism was really not around. The parents were told to put her in a home but they fought for her to have an education eventually and with the help of a very understanding head and with the work they did with Ann at home they succeeded in teaching Ann to talk and then to read and write.
The parents and two brothers adored Ann and the love they gave her really does shine through the book. This gives me hope as my husband and I think that love has a big role in Joel's development and people love Joel not just his family. He has the effect on some that immediately get it and him and there are some who just don't get him. For the ones that do get Joel I adore you.
The thing about this book which sets it apart from books written about children with autism today is the unpolitically correct style in which it is written. The way these parents taught Ann to do things was by smacking her into submission if she did something she shouldn't be doing ie getting up all the time during meal times. They didn't tell anyone what they were doing as they would be considered cruel but they kept on smacking her until she did what she was being taught ie holding a spoon at the table and using it. When she finally understood this task she was rewarded with lots of cuddles. The training was reward and punishment and it worked for this family but not sure this is recommended these days. In fact people may be shocked at this method they used and I was a bit taken aback but I could understand how desperate they were.
You have to read the book to see how hard this family tried with Ann and not judge them for it as they weren't given a handbook about autism and there were no services out there to help and no ABA schools for children with autism. Thank God we have the school and the knowledge of specialist tutors who have been trained in ABA methods which is very much based on re-enforcement and rewards for getting things right and ignoring bad behaviours. So the techniques this family used was similar to techniques used with Joel apart from the smacking. This book was written in a different era where disability was seen as shameful and where the parents were told either institutionalise her or drug her so they took it on themselves to help Ann and treat her at home and they came through it with a girl that clearly loved them back and could eventually tell them and laugh with them.
Ann grew out of her autism and became a model and secretary but am not sure what happened to her. The book was certainly inspirational as these parents got through the tough times and came out the other end so it was interesting to read how parents coped in the 60's living with autism - not very well and all behind closed doors as far as I can work out and I think these parents were an exception to the rule. I'm grateful we live in a more accepting time but know that it's still difficult to understand even if you have all the books and guidance you can still get confused about what it's all about.
It's the times when I see small gains and improvements with Joel that I have hope for him and his future. When he said to me 'turn it on' and handed me the ipad the other day I was gob smacked and immediately turned it on and it made my day to hear him. I can hear his voice these days even though it's very quiet and very low. It's still a voice and as long as he has one I will do my utmost to let him be heard and be instantly responded to so that hopefully he might realise it can get him somewhere.
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