Mary's Poem - a 14 year old sister writing about her older brother who has autism

This poem is from a friend who has a son with autism, he's now in his early 20s and got into university.  He has Aspergers which is on the other end of the spectrum from Joel but the autism still affects family life in all ways.  This poem touched my heart as it reminded me of my own daughter Holly 7 who is a younger sister of Joel and how perceptive she is too at such a young age.  She is always helping Joel but also loves playing with him, tickling him and generally mucking about.  They are still brother and sister who adore each other.

My Brother Whom I Love
 

No expression, no smile,

Those I haven’t seen in a while.

Plain clothes, dark hair,

Thin, and pale.

 

His eyes are staring,

So troubled, but good.

The effort it takes not to shout,

The effort it takes not to hurt.

We do not know,

We do not see,

The things that go on in his head.

But what I know tells me,

He handles the unimaginable.

 

Big hates are crowds,

Emotionally packed rooms,

With noise and laughter and tears.

Maybe the reason for this being,

These are the things he cannot show.

 

Through each day he struggles,

To control the urge inside him.

Though blips occur – it’s not his fault,

It’s a miracle what he does.

 

Family is his greatest friend,

We accept him for who he is.

Though as his youngest sister,

No hugs do I receive.
 

An uncle now, can you believe it!

The love in his eyes, I can tell,

He loves them, he loves us all,

So much that he will restrain,

From the pain that swells inside him.

Autism is no game.