Ten helpful suggestions to offer a parent with a child with autism

1) Offer to babysit for an hour or two

 

2) Be positive not sympathetic or negative

 

3) Be practical not fatalistic





Birthday cake by Marianne a great friend in Australia

4) Offer to make a birthday cake for your child - when Joel was diagnosed I had a young baby too and was overwhelmed.  Joel was on a new gluten dairy free diet (known as the autism diet) and two years in a row my wonderful friends Sophie and Marianne in Sydney made the most wonderful cakes for Joel and Holly.  It was that type of support that got me through the hard times

5) Have  a 'can do' attitude - let's give it a go and if it goes pear shaped at least we've tried.  Be prepared for the unexpected though!

Joel age 4 with Holly's birthday cake which was done by Marianne gluten free thanks Marianne!

6) Offer support by going to the numerous appointments with the parent and child.  I have been to so many medical appointments and alternative therapists too from cranial osteopaths, homoeopaths to urologists, gastroentirologists, paediatricians, GP's (one who told me he hadn't seen such a severe case in autism in over 20 years of practice but who then went on to say he didn't know much about autism but 'I can tell you about Downs'...).  It is useful having someone else there to digest what is being said but also to help look after the child who is no doubt 'bouncing off the walls' as that same doctor put it.

7) Offer to help the parent with their filing systems.  Joel has so much paperwork it can be overwhelming.

8) Have is a sense of humour through this and also don't be afraid to let the parent know if you're going through a hard time.  I had friends who didn't like to burden me but that in fact makes you feel more useless and it's good to offer support even if it's going for a walk or swim or game of tennis.

9) Be supportive even if you think the parent is totally nuts.  Don't judge.  You have no idea what it's like to raise a child with autism unless you've been there.  It is like being hit by a freight train when you get the diagnosis.  Hugs are good. 

10)  Call the parent even if  you don't really know what to say or do.  It's the thought that matters.  You are thinking of that person and it doesn't go unnoticed.