Ten Autism Challenges to deal with as a parent...

We all know parenting is hard work...my two year old Maxi is particularly testing at the moment and won't put his coat on, won't put his seat belt on without an almighty tantrum and numerous other things.  So it's challenging at the best of times with any kid even my gorgeous daughter Holly knows how to push my eject from seat button and crash...anyway with my son Joel and his autism it's in a different league...it's the constant demands of a child searching his way in this confusing world and whether he's trying to find the answers I don't know but try and figure these ten random autism traits of his....

Joel's siblings Holly and Maxi. 

1)  Rescuing Joel's Ipad (AGAIN), and various other sundries from the outside roof after returning from New York for four nights.....  It was soaked through.   Joel likes throwing things out of windows.   He has also taken a particular dislike to younger brother Max's bottles as they get slung out too and also a particular Winnie the Pooh book (AGAIN).   I dried the Ipad on the radiator and to my astonishment it seems to be working after a second soaking.  This is really good PR for Ipads as it's been sitting in the rain for four nights.  But now discovered the password isn't working...

2) Running half way up a beach after a kite TWICE after Joel let go of it ON PURPOSE so that he could see a kite fly off.  Nearly killing myself to jump on it to rescue kite.  With staring gormless onlookers not catching it as it passed them..  Why would he do that?  Just because...he also does it with any helium balloon he gets given or any balloon for that matter....Just because...really there is no explanation for it...that's autism for you

3) Stopping Joel from stroking mens beards or moustaches.  He went through a funny stage because his school bus driver in Sydney had a goatie and indulged Joel's curiosity to feel the texture of a beard. I know this sounds weird but he was a good man.  Autism is about sensory processing and Joel does not process his senses in the same way we do...believe me I'm still trying to find out how this process works.  I'll do a blog on it when I do find out.    So this meant that Joel thought it ok to go up to any man and stroke their beard.   He's not doing it now after much disapproval from me.  Thank God.  Although he's not great at giving people space and will go up to them and stare close up.  I am impressed with this as his eye contact is good when he does this and with autism eye contact is usually pretty bad so you sometimes have to take the good with the bad in autism and make the best of it.

4) Nicking chips from a man who was just about to pick them up from MacDonald's.  Just because.  Joel knows no boundaries.  We're working on it.  Luckily said man and friend seemed to have a sense of humour about it.  Which reminds me it's a good idea if you come across a child with autism to go easy on said parent/grandparent/carer and child in this sort of location.  Even if the child looks pretty normal there's probably something going on with them which is more than meets the eye.

5) Watching Joel climb into a rowing boat whilst on holiday and having to wade into water and mud to get him out of said boat to safety.  I did leave him in for a while though as he was so happy and calm and LOVES being on the water. 

Joel enjoying the rowing boat.  How did you get there so quickly?

Where are you going Joel?  Whose boat is that?

Joel on the water at Dittisham.  We often say he'd make a great sailor or fisherman as he's always happy on boats

6) Losing Joel age 8 on a Cornish beach for what seemed like an hour but was probably about 15 minutes.  A lifeguard had put on the load speaker could Joel please come to the lifeguard van.  I told them point blank Joel would not be able to register this request but thought it worth doing anyway.  It turned out after much panic that Joel was happily in the sea jumping some big waves.  Thanks Joel!!  A few more wrinkles there for me then.

7)  Joel splashing a young toddler getting in his personal space to the response of very uptight parents 'you'd think he'd know better at his age'...to which I didn't reply as really sometimes I have the energy to respond to other people in this type of situation and other times I don't.  This time I didn't but thought how unhappy they looked in any case so with some people it's just not worth it!

9) Joel waking up early any time from 4am and proceeding to sing/make noises/laugh/ get up and put all the lights on.  He's also regressed a bit with the night time bed wetting so changing sheets at this time is probably the worst thing about this thing to do with autism.

10) Joel not hugging much but when he does it lights up my life and I am particularly taken aback.  For example today at the llama park we visited at Ashdown Forest he was very affectionate on the walk around the park and looked me in the eye, smiled and hugged me!  This made my day and made the trip worthwhile just to receive this simple affectionate gesture!  But believe me with autism this is massive as he was making a connection and often you may not get a connection from him in days.

Look I could go on about the negatives but there are so many rewards along the way like the carers who work with Joel who adore him and say what  a pleasure he is.  One was on the phone to me today saying how wonderful he is and how polite and confident he is.  Wow that blew me away it brings a tear to my eye when I hear something like that as I think we must be doing something right .